Introducing Breathing Motherhood

What am I doing here? What is Breathing Motherhood all about? Should you stick around?

What led me to start this publication?

Well this has been a long time coming.

And you all know why I’m here because I know I’m not alone in this longing for a slower-paced type of content. Both reading and writing it.

If I’m honest, my heart has not been fully in Instagram for a long time. I’ve realised this in stages and then all at once and now I can’t unsee it.

Sure, I like being inspired and learning stuff in an accessible way and finding out about events etc. Even more than that, I love the connections I’ve made on there: I’ve even made several good friends on that platform. And, of course, the reason I’m on IG in the first place is because of my business and it’s where most of my clients have come from, at least in some sense.

And this is not me leaving Instagram. I’m just making it official that I’m using it in a very different way than I used to. Honestly, I have just not been feeling it for a while. When I got pregnant in the summer of ‘22, I breathed a sigh of relief that I had a reason to check out from IG for a few months while I was largely bed-ridden with first-trimester symptoms.

I find myself pining for 2020 when posting every day felt like a joy rather than a chore and I saw lots of encouragement and engagement. Or, even better, circa 2016 or whenever it was that Instagram was just this effortlessly fun place to share nice photos of sunsets and pancakes.

Long story short - I don’t feel what is to be shared from my heart is best done on that platform. I need to be somewhere slower-paced, where my nervous system feels soothed and where I don’t have to worry about word counts, being snappy or bloody hashtags.

As a copywriter and content writer (that’s my “day job”, which I do around naps, my husband’s hospital shifts and minimal childcare), opening this space here feels freeing. I LOVE what I do as a copywriter and content writer but, for once, it feels refreshing to just write and let it pour out instead of thinking about SEO-optimised headings and fresh CTAs.

Like many of us, I just want to write what is on my heart. With no sales pitch and no real agenda other than to write. So, yes, this space is about me but it’s also about you. Because I’m writing about a topic (or shall I say an intermingling of topics) that may interest you.

‘Breathing Motherhood’ - what’s it all about?

Since the tail end of December 2019, I’ve been breathing motherhood. To go back to what I said about realising my relationship with IG is never going to be the same again - once you step into the portal of motherhood, you just can’t unbe a mother. With every breath I take and in every moment and in everything I do and see and touch and achieve and feel I am a mother. It’s the lens through which I now experience life.

And this transformation has fascinated me, not least because I never have (and still don’t believe) that motherhood is the be all and end all for women. There are many other paths to fulfilment and belonging and connection. I just happened to choose motherhood as part of the journey I’ve weaved as a human.

Honestly, motherhood was something I pondered over for a long time before deciding it was for me. I was a definite ‘no’ in my mid twenties, a ‘maybe’ in my late twenties and then all of sudden in my early thirties, that changed to a ‘yes’. But I’ve always seen motherhood as part of me rather than the whole of me. Yes, it defines me but it doesn’t define the entirety of me. I am a mother. But I am also a surfer, a freelance writer, a breathwork facilitator, a wife, an expat and so on.

And yet, like I said, motherhood is now the prism through which I do and experience and see everything. I am a surfer mum. I am a freelance mum. I am an expat mum…It colours everything I now am and do and touch and create. Because, whether I like it or not, I am forever changed.

So, yeah, it’s complicated.

But, do you know what? I want to fully own being a mother. Be fully here for it and the lessons it holds. Take up space as a mother. Even - or should I say, especially - when it makes the patriarchy squirm.

Because this I believe: being a mother does not make me frumpy or insignificant or unambitious or not worth talking about now because (patriarchal view incoming) “mums are boring”. And nope writing about motherhood does not automatically class me as a “mummy blogger” (anyone every heard of a “daddy blogger”? Didn’t think so. I’m just a ‘writer’ or ‘blogger’, thanks).

And I’m tired of this narrative that once you start talking or writing about motherhood, you lose your multifaceted nature as a human. You’re pigeonholed as only being able to talk about school runs and parenting techniques and baby-led weaning…

I could go on but the point of the matter is this: ‘motherhood’ and ‘mother’ are not dirty words and I believe we need to talk about them more in ways that challenge the status quo. Take up space and make what we say loud and, at times, uncomfortable.

The vibe I’m aiming for is similar to unapologetically taking your grumpy and teething 9-month old into a busy cafe on a Tuesday afternoon when everyone else in there is working on laptops, making a song and a dance of parking your pram and proceeding to whack out a boob to feed her while remote workers do their Q4 reviews and Q1 projections.

Yes, this really happened last week. This was me and my baby.

I want us to take up space and be loud about motherhood.

Because if we do not talk about our experience of motherhood and the tension (as Caitlin Creeper, who has a wonderful Substack, so beautifully puts it) that exists between being a mother and all the other things that make up life and the million and one ways in which the world tries to make everything harder for us as mothers and the million and one ways that motherhood actually makes us all the more badass because it cracks you open in the most incredible way and gives you literal superpowers then we are simply bowing to the patriarchy and saying ‘whatever you please, sir’.

Fuck that shit.

So, yes, ‘Breathing Motherhood’ is here as a call to action to take up space as a mother. Talk about it. Breathe it all in. Own that space a little more with each exhale. And it’s an invitation to be fully here for it - this utterly chaotic shitshow. To find magic and mindfulness in the midst of the utter mess that is modern motherhood. Because I always say that motherhood is the most incredible mirror if we dare to take a look.

If this stirs something within you then you’re in the right place.

The breathing part in the name ‘Breathing Motherhood’ also refers to my fascination with the breath. If you know me IRL or from other platforms, you’ll know that I’m a breathwork facilitator, which still makes me laugh as I never really saw the value in the breathing part of yoga until I was at least a decade into practising. But here I am and I love it.

For me, breathwork and motherhood will always be intertwined. I dove into breathwork when T was a baby (she’s now 4) and it’s been a trusty companion as I flow and grow with the ups and downs of motherhood. I won’t go into the many ways it’s impacted my life since, but I will cover that one day.

To cut a long story short, breathwork helps me to find magic and mindfulness in the mess of motherhood. And I don’t say that simply because of the pleasing alliteration in that sentence (although I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t delight me). But I do believe that connecting to the breath is a key that unlocks so much goodness in life. I can’t not talk about it.

What will I share on here?

You can expect some breathwork chat in here but, like everything that I’ll share in the space, it will all be woven into the patchwork of the motherhood experience: juggling self-employment and motherhood, finding some kind of work-mum-life flow, raising kids far from my family, wellbeing practices as a mum, making space for your passions and purpose as a mum, taking up space as a mum, the mythical effing village etc.

This space will be quite different to what I share on IG or my emails to my mailing list. I write to my existing email list 1-2 times a month with offers, news, updates, events and so on. But you’ll have to come here for the juicier stories. It’ll be much more of a grab a cuppa and get comfy in your armchair kinda vibe.

For now, I want to leave it pretty open as to how often I’ll post and what kind of content I’ll share, but I’m keen to let this grow into a community where I share breathwork practices, coaching tools and so on so it can really support you to find magic and mindfulness in the mess of motherhood too.

There will be no paid option for now but let’s see how this develops! I do love the idea of having a low-cost way for people to access my words and breathwork/coaching so I will explore this for sure.

If you made it to the bottom, thank you for your patience and time. And thanks for being here.

Keep breathing, keeping taking up space.

Grace x